Writing FORMAL LETTER

Instructions:
1) Spot the errors that can be found in this letter with regards to Tone.
2) What can be done to make this letter appear more diplomatic; without being offensive or overly reactive
3) Replace phrases where you feel is harsh / inappropriate
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Dear Mr Luigi,



I am returning the enclosed skateboard for a full refund. I believe it is not only a bad product, but a dangerous one. I am shocked that a company supposedly dedicated to making good products would sell such a thing. I demand not only a refund, but an explanation.

When I purchased the ‘Smokey Thunder’ skateboard, I asked the salesperson whether it was, indeed, designed to enable me to kick-flip on curbs without injuring myself. He assured me that if the parts were assembled properly, I will get the best experience out of my skateboard.

I followed the instructions exactly in assembling it and assumed that it would be safe. Instead, while cruising around my neighbourhood and going up and down slopes, the wheels suddenly gave way and I stumbled forward like a cannonball. I sprained my ankle and almost broke my neck!!! It was awful!!

This is absolutely unacceptable. Thank God my injuries are not that bad, but others may not have been so lucky. I could have been seriously injured, or worse, and it would have been your fault.

I want my money back, but more important, I want a letter from you, assuring me that this dangerous product has been taken off of the market. If I don’t hear from you, I’ll be forced to take further action to ensure that teenager like myself gets hurt or killed as a result of your negligence!!!


Sincerely,
Mi Puah Ting